I’ve lost the original thought, to my shame, but it’s the most helpful conversation concept I’ve encountered in a long time: Conversation as improvisation. It’s not the most intuitive framework for conversation. For me, my fallback structure for conversation is a different concept: Conversation as competition. That concept doesn’t imply that I try to “win” … Continue reading On conversation as improvisation
Tag: conversation
On 9 things from last week
Watch Top Chef. Season 13. A lesser season of the great cooking competition show. “How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It.” Harvard Business Review. YouTube. White flag rule: tell the person that you need to close the conversation, but ask them one more question. “How to Start a Speech.” Conor Neill. YouTube. Don’t … Continue reading On 9 things from last week
On the white flag rule in conversation
I don’t love admitting to it, but I’m not the greatest conversationalist—not that I’m a total bumbling weirdo or a unstoppable egoist. It’s thankfully not so dire as that: I’m occasionally awkward, a bit self-indulgent with my anecdotes, and ask too few questions. Things could be better! So it was with reservations that I watched … Continue reading On the white flag rule in conversation
On “not much” as the response to “what’s new?”
God, isn’t it the worst? But, in an uninspired moment, that was me this past Sunday. It’s the conversational equivalent of someone handing you a beverage and just pouring it on the ground. They’ll wonder, Why did I even bother? It helps to remember that having someone to even ask you the question is a … Continue reading On “not much” as the response to “what’s new?”
On talking to people you don’t know that well who are wearing sunglasses
Is something I don't like. The post could probably be as short as that—wouldn't that be fun?—but I feel like the emotion deserves at least a little explication. Plus, it gives me the opportunity to trot out a favorite (but overused) expression: The eyes are the window to the soul. Besides the expressivity of the … Continue reading On talking to people you don’t know that well who are wearing sunglasses
On people telling you about TV episodes you’ve never seen
My mom didn't let us watch a lot of TV growing up. While today I'm thankful for the enforced abstention, this withholding really irked me at the time. I felt I was missing out—recess and lunchtime conversation invariably surfaced movies and television shows I'd never seen. Remember when [that hilarious thing] happened on [television show]? … Continue reading On people telling you about TV episodes you’ve never seen
On sharing stuff you saw on the Internet
"And then the firework shot shot across the way into someone's apartment!" "What! Where were you?" "Oh, this was something on Instagram." Hearing this, the bottom dropped out of the anecdote for me. While this firework incident a was no less real for having been captured on video and posted to social media, it felt … Continue reading On sharing stuff you saw on the Internet
On the joy of talking to parents about parenting
How did no one tell us about this? This was the mantra for the first year of life as a parent. There's the hard stuff they don't tell you—the sleepless nights, the visits to urgent care, the devious and various behavioral "regressions." And there's the good stuff, too—the toothless smiles, the first words, the innocent … Continue reading On the joy of talking to parents about parenting
On admiring those who pick up the phone and make calls
I used to dread picking up the phone at to make a work call. If I had to made a work call, I'd procrastinate until the last minute. Even calling colleagues was dread-inducing. I've gotten over this dread...for the most part. But it came back to me this week, as it does occasionally, when I … Continue reading On admiring those who pick up the phone and make calls
On being a better listener (and not holding on to what I want to say)
Sometimes during a conversation, I'm reminded of classroom discussions in college. I was lucky enough to attend a small liberal arts college where many classes were "discussion-based" rather than lectures or seminars, usually with 12-15 students in a given class. I remember the situation very clearly: I am sitting there in class. Someone is saying … Continue reading On being a better listener (and not holding on to what I want to say)
Taylor Coe 