On the excuse of having kids

“My kids” is the best excuse.

Don’t want to go to that networking event? You’d prefer to skip the evening at a friend’s house? Feel like moving that meeting?

It’s amazing, really—the status of parent is a get out of jail free card.

The amazing thing is how well it works, with so little I’ll will.

When someone tosses the excuse at me, I feel the immediate empathetic tug. Because as much as it can be excuse, there’s plenty of times (most of the time!) where it’s not so much excuse as statement of reality. Parenting is no walk in the woods.

But there’s another excuse out there, too—it’s the one we lob at ourselves.

For instance, I used to meditate every day. It was good for me—I was less anxious, more present, even less likely to have indigestion.

And then kids entered my life.

A previously reliable schedule vanished—and it has not returned. New schedules coalesced, only to evolve mere months later.

Where did meditation go? It vanished, along with my once reliable schedule.

And why haven’t I shoehorned it back into my day somehow?

Well, I have a great excuse.

And therein is my dilemma—the excuse of kids is one I give to myself just as readily as I give to other people.

Sometimes this is practical. Starting a serious side hustle, for instance, would be foolish in more ways than one with little kids in my life.

But something like meditation? Or looking less at my phone? Or taking better notes on my reading?

I’ve got excuses…but they’re not very good ones.